Thoughts From The First Few Days

How is it possible to be so utterly in love with a little being that I've only known for six days? Katelyn has both Mike and I wrapped around her little finger. We don't want to set her down, even when she is sleeping. We just want to stare at her and watch her little facial expressions. This is now the second time in my life that I have experienced true love...first with Mike and now with Katelyn. Even though it's been less than a week, I can't imagine my life without her in it.

Some observations from Katelyn's first few days at home:

A week ago, seven hours sleep was barely enough for me. Now? I'm up and raring to go after a two hour nap. Of course, I don't put in a full day based on those two hours - I'm down and napping within 6 or 7 hours, but still...those short sleeps are fantastic!

- My parents have been an invaluable help over the past week. The night before we came home, M&D came to our house and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Even though I had done a superficial cleaning during my last few days of nesting, they took it to the next level. Dad vacuumed out our vents/ducts while Mom scrubbed out the fridge. They vacuumed behind our fridge and stove, washed floors, changed the cat pooper etc. In the days since we've been home, they are quick to come over to cuddle Katelyn so that we can nap. Mom has brought over casseroles, changed laundry, washed dishes and so on. I would be floundering if I didn't have them nearby!

- Is it wrong that I like to hear Katelyn squawk and cry? She hates diaper changes, but the noises she makes are so just too endearing! She stretches and squawks, but never a full on cry. When she is starting to get upset, she has an extremely high pitched squeak that she lets out - she sounds like a tea kettle!

- I have to restrain myself from changing her outfit with each diaper change...she just has too many cute, pink outfits to choose from!

- Nursing is going all right. We ended up buying formula and bottles the night we got home, just so that Mike could feed her while I was sleeping. I must say, there is no better feeling in the world than when I feed her (after the initial five minute "I want your boob, no I don't, yes I do, no I don't" struggle). Looking down at her as she contentedly suckles away is just an amazing feeling.

- If I thought I cried a lot before she was born, holy man, did the flood gates ever open up with her birth. As my sister pointed out, "Just you watch...soon enough, reading the phone book will make you cry!" and she was right! I cry watching Mike hold Katelyn. I cry when I think about the wonderful job Mike did while I was in labour and delivering. I cry when I'm rocking Katelyn and looking into her eyes...I want her to stay little forever. I cry when I look at Shandi and feel bad that she has been downgraded to "just a dog". On the positive side, these are all good cries. I'm hoping it doesn't get to the point where I cry because I can't decide what I want to eat!

- This whole anemia thing has really kicked the crap out of me. Standing up to take my dishes to the sink causes my heart rate to triple. When I turn my head, my vision sort of delays and I'm dizzy most of the day. I have a headache 90% of the time. The process of going to the bathroom (complete with rinsing with that peri-bottle) leaves me feeling like I've ran a marathon. I am still extremely pale and I get the shakes quite easily. We are heading back to my doctor this morning to talk about going ahead with a blood transfusion...if I don't have to feel like crap for the next 4-6 weeks, than why should I? My mom offered to donate the blood (as long as we are a match) in order to remove any risk of ending up with some weird disease.