Dear Gay Community,
First off, let me say that I have nothing against homosexuality. I could not care less about what you do behind closed doors, against closed doors or on the kitchen counter. Have your parades and your pride days. Be flamboyant. Be fantastic. Adopt children. Get married. Be allowed to vote and sit at the front of the bus or whatever other rights you're fighting for. I only have one small request - I want the f**king rainbow back.
Why did you have to pick the rainbow as your symbol? Couldn't you have just taken yellow and left some for everyone else? Why do you have to be so selfish? You already dominate the fashion and design world and you get to do head waggles and finger snaps that make most of the women from Queens jealous. You have to know you're beautiful enough without stealing all the colours. Why don't you try taking purple and yellow and see how those are against your skin tone? If they work, then you can have those colours...deal?
You see, I love all the colours of the rainbow together ergo I love rainbows. But in an ironic twist of fate, I, a heterosexual woman, have to be in the closet about my love of rainbows because if I come out of the closet and openly express my love for rainbows, people might think I'm gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). I love rainbows so much, I even have the colours tattooed on Achilles tendon. I was so excited to get the tattoo, I designated each colour to a portion of my personality (purple for passion, orange for intelligence and so on). It was shortly after getting this tattoo that I was informed that rainbows are a symbol for the gay community. That was the first summer that I wore socks everyday (not that there's anything wrong with getting hit on by a gay person).
And now that I have my daughter, I want to dress her in the rainbow colours, but everytime I put her in her adorable striped socks or brightly coloured outfits, I feel like I'm literally dressing the poster child for your gay parades (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm begging you...please stop being so selfish by taking all the colours. Just take one or two and leave the rest.
That's it for now.
Love...Me
PS - Double snaps to you guys for making purple and grey the hot colours this season.
Sista please.
ReplyDeleteYou philistine. You make my stomach turn. Just grow a pair, be an ally or stop pretending you're not a closed minded ass-hole.
ReplyDeleteOoohhh...I wondered whether this was going to spark anything. Miss Roxanne...grow a brain and realize that this is not a serious letter.
ReplyDeleteRoxannes militant lack of humour makes my stomach turn.
ReplyDeleteI love rainbows too! And my daughter keeps telling me she has rainbow bones and rainbow power. haha..She loves them too.
But yeah, this one time in the states my cousin was standing at a bus stop wearing all blue (jeans, sneakers, blue t-shirt) a guy seriously told her to stand away from him in case some people thought we were together! He was wearing all red, so you know what he was. He knew she wasn't a gang member, but other people would have...you know, because people are stupid.
And now some stupid people will think you're gay and probaby hate you for no reason just because you like rainbows. But hey, that's life.
Thanks Amarie! It is unfortunate that small-minded people are quick to make assumptions (ahem cough Roxanne cough).
ReplyDeletesorry for calling you a Biotch... my inner fag came out for a second.
ReplyDeleteI used to have a rainbow bedspread... and I'm gay... Oh shit... what has that drat rainbow done. Careful people... I guess thats what you get for sleeping under a rainbow.
ReplyDeleteOh... and yes the rainbow is mine, get that turtle off your leg! Hands off Biotch... 3 snaps up in Z formation!