It's Good To See You, Old Friend

Dear Richard Simmons,

It's been a few years since you and I have hung out.  I think I stopped seeing you roughly seven years ago.  We had a lot of fun back then and you helped me lose 40 lbs.  I don't remember why I stopped our daily visits - it certainly wasn't because of lack of fun.  Whatever the reason, the important thing is that you and I are back together.

I've been waiting to "reclaim the basement" since the Great Flood of 2009.  Now that the downstairs is usable again, I have set up a work out area where I can flail about in private.  I could work out in the upstairs living room, but I fear the neighbours would catch sight and question why they weren't alerted to the fact a dancing rhinoceros had moved in among them.

I love sweatin' to the oldies with you.  Between your too-short pin striped shorts, your high pitched, nasal voice and your frequent shouts of, "Come on! Pony with me!" it is just a good time all around.  Even in the middle of the workout when we're high kicking it, my face is an ungodly shade of purple and I'm sweating in places that never should, I find myself smiling and enjoying the workout.  You are a pile of cheezy goodness that actually makes me look forward to our daily rendevous.  The only thing that could possibly make our get togethers better would be if I could find shorts and a tank top like yours.

Thanks for waiting for me to come back, Richard.  Your patience is greatly appreciated and I promise you won't find yourself sitting in the corner of the basement, collecting dust,  any time soon.

Your friend in fatness,

Me