Speedy Soul Searching

It was suggested to me that I take this past summer off work.  After returning to work in January, I realized I still wasn't close to being 100%.  It was a rocky six months, with lots of ups and downs.  I happily took the suggestion to take some time off.  I had planned on finding some mindless job to fill my summer days, but I rarely got a call for an interview.  Finally, last week I got a call.

But this interview wasn't for a mindless job.  It was to be Community Developer with an early childhood organization.  My responsibilities would have included working with families in small communities to see what they need to help their children grow up happy and healthy.  The hours were flexible; I would get to wear "dress-up" clothes; I would have my own office and a work vehicle to drive.  It all sounded wonderful.

If I do say so myself, I kicked ass during the hour and a half long interview.  There were, of course, lots of laughs throughout the meeting.  When asked what I thought my weaknesses were, I couldn't help but respond with, "Well, I've never been very good at sky-diving".  It's the truth, but it didn't really apply to the job :)

The BIG downside to this job is that it pays half of what I'm currently making.  That means, I would have to put in twice as much time to make the same amount.  I tried to reason with myself that if I loved my job, the money wouldn't matter.

Over the weekend, I had decided to myself that I would stay at my current job.  And then I got the call this morning to tell me I had the Community Developer job if I wanted it.  I didn't say no right away.  I needed a couple of hours to make my final decision.  After many cups of coffee and a lot of re-writing pros and cons lists, I've decided to stay at my current job.  My gut tells me it's the right thing to do.  PLUS I have been feeling consistently fantastic these last few weeks.  My meds are working awesome and I haven't felt this stable in a LONG time.  Things will be different this time around.

I hate big decisions.  Hell, I hate little decisions (like whether or not to go to the lake for the weekend...yah, real stressful you First World crybaby).  Decisions equal stress and stress and I don't mix very well.  Stress causes me to do silly things like mix rum in my morning coffee and chug it like a frat boy.  When you add a time crunch to big decisions (the interviewer had to know by tonight), I get even sillier.  Every time I felt myself getting flustered and worked up, I would randomly lift up my tank top and flash Mike.  It was win-win...I got stress relief and Mike got a free show.

I'm glad the decision has been made.  My fingers are now crossed that it was the right one.