Remind Me To Do That NEVER Again...

I was really looking forward to this past Saturday.  My cousin was getting married, just outside of Saskatoon and all of my dad's family (from Calgary) was going to be there.  My visits with them are few and far between, so I was excited at the chance to see them all in one room.  Whenever I attend a wedding, I like to pamper myself the morning of the big event - almost like it's my special day all over again :)  I had plans to paint my toenails, give myself a manicure, shave my moustache...you know, the essentials.  I was in the midst of shaving that tricky spot (you know...right under your nose where your nose hairs get tangled in with your facial hair), when I received an email from a friend.  She said she was in town and really wanted to see me.  That was the beginning of the downward slide of what turned into a horrible, no-good, rotten day.

If this friend wasn't currently going through a nasty divorce, I would have said "Not today, sweetie".  But I felt like I couldn't turn her away.  I did give her the heads up that I had to leave at 3:00pm and I would need an hour or so before that to get ready.  I attempted to put Kat down for a nap before my friend showed up.  Kat only laid in her crib for about 15 minutes before Shandi barked and announced my friend's arrival.  Kat was promptly wide awake and ready to party.

Throughout the visit, I tried and tried and TRIED to get Kat to go back to sleep, but she was having none of it.  She is a surprisingly stubborn little girl and she was able to thwart off all of my attempts...including when I pressed my thumbs down on her wind pipe.  Two o'clock came and went and my friend showed no signs of leaving.  I love her dearly, but I had to put an end to our discussion.  Time was ticking and I really wanted Kat to nap for a little bit before we left.

Kat happily laid in her crib while I got ready, but she did not sleep.  We hit the road on time and I figured Kat would fall asleep on the way.  Nope.  Little Miss "Screw You And Your Expectations of Me Napping" stayed awake for the entire drive (including my getting lost on the way from Warman to Langham...stupid country roads with crappy signage).

Within ten minutes of showing up at the reception, I was ready to leave.  I didn't want to ruin my parents' evening by having them chase after Kat, but I also didn't feel like running around after her by myself.  You plop a two year old who has had zero sleep into a roomful full of new people and a bunch of other kids and you've got a recipe for disaster.  Sister was going ape-shit bananas...squealing, jumping, running and twirling.

I caught her by the arm as she whizzed by me (presumably on her way to the parking lot to smoke with her new friends) and tried to take her to the bathroom to change her diaper.  I have never heard such an ear-shattering scream come from something so little.  I clamped my hand over her mouth and whisked her away.

I knew she was beyond tired and I wanted her to nap.  Only problem was that I had no stroller, no blanket and no where to lay her down once she did fall asleep.  I ended up barricading myself into the darkened coat room, grabbed a chair cover from an unused chair and started to sing "The Ants Go Marching".  Kat was writhing so much, she looked like "The Exorcist".  My favourite part was when she started screaming, "Stop! Stop!", as if I was actually torturing her.  Awesome time for her to learn a new word.

We stayed huddled in the coat room until half way through the supper.  By that point, I had given up and was ready to hit the small town bar.  I heated up Kat's supper, grabbed a plate of food and plunked down at a table with the photographer.  I did not feel like sitting at my assigned table and trying to make chit-chat with my cousins.  Trying to carry on a conversation with your two-year old in the near vicinity is impossible so I figured, "Why bother?".

After supper was the start of the two hour program.  Two whole hours.  Now, I am not that parent that lets her kid run around, make noise and be distracting at inappropriate times "because she's SO cute!" so we went and hid in the coat room for the remainder of the evening.  Yup....just me, Kat, the ring bearer and the snottiest little flower girl I've ever met.  Good times.  The other two kids were jumping in and out of a pair of car seats that obviously didn't belong to them.  At that point, I didn't give a shit about much of anything and I wasn't about to discipline them.  Carry on, kidlings, carry on.

Finally, at 10:15pm, they started to make preparations for the dance to begin.  The dance was a huge factor in my wanting to attend.  Kat is a dancing machine and I was excited to see her cut a rug in the middle of the floor.  Unfortunately, by that time I had had enough and all I wanted to do was get a coffee and hit the road.  I hugged the bride good-bye, strapped Kat into her car seat and got the H out of there.  Would you believe that Kat didn't sleep on the way home?  Girl had been up since 9:00am and finally FINALLY! at 12:10, she fell asleep (ten minutes away from home).

After reading this, from an outsider's point of view, you might think, "Wound up kid, little bit crazy...so, what's the big deal?".  It was just the combination of everything....not being able to pamper myself in the morning, Kat not napping, not being assigned to sit with my parents so they could help me feed Kat, not wanting to ruin their evening, not being able to chat with dad's family, getting lost (twice) on the way to the reception and so on.  It just all adds up to being a super frustrating day that didn't turn out at all how I had hoped.  I will NEVER take a young child to a wedding again...completely and utterly pointless.

The following pictures are the only ones I took at the wedding.  After the first one, they pretty much speak for themselves.

This was the exact moment the whiny little flower girl popped Kat's balloon...the one that I brought in from the van for Kat because there were no balloons at the wedding.
This was also the moment I nearly punched a four year old girl.

New wedding game..."Hog Tie The Devil Child"

"You see, Kat, if this behaviour keeps up, you will be a loser with a capital L for the rest of your life..."
(I'm not positive, but there's a good chance she's biting Grandpa's thumb there)

Attitude, much?