Fighting Fair
We argue. A lot. Mostly about stupid things like what the difference is between telling someone you love them and telling them you're in love with them (this has been going on for 12 years). But we've also had our share of fights (and there have been some pretty big whoppers that resulted in breaking up for all of three hours). But when we fight, we fight fairly. There has never, EVER been any type of name-calling or degrading slurs thrown. Mike has never called me a bitch. I've never called him a dick. We don't throw accusations like, "You're so stupid!" or "I can't believe how thoughtless you are!". We've known right from the start that if we resorted to calling each other names, that would mean we had lost respect for one another and that it was time to call it quits. We've always felt that if you're going to fight, attack the issue and not the person.
Trust
Right from the start, I could tell Mike was a kind, genuine, caring man who wasn't a 'playa' or a douchey-douche. He was a family man and was looking for someone to complete his family. He was (and still is) mature...plain and simple. While we both know that we partake in harmless flirting (just today I commented to Mike how thankful I was to be wearing my good bra when I answered the door for our Hotti McTottie mailman), we both know that's all it is.
Some women go bat-shit crazy if they're husbands even think about looking at another woman, let alone comment that they find them attractive. We are beyond secure enough in our relationship that we can openly comment who we think is hot. Mike even refers to the owner of a local store as my boyfriend because I jump at the chance to stop in there and ogle his hotness.
Appreciation
Even after twelve years, Mike and I continue to say "thank you" for everything. Running to the store for milk, switching loads of laundry, starting vehicles in the cold, changing diapers, cooking supper, cleaning the kitchen, back rubs, bringing a glass of juice....everything. On pretty much a daily basis, I thank Mike for going to work and he thanks me for parenting.
We also say, "I love you". A lot. To some people, saying these things too often might make them lose their 'special-ness' to which I say, "Pshaw!". It is because we say these things truly and often that we don't feel the need to do grand, sweeping gestures on our anniversaries or on Valentine's Day. Sure we exchange cards and small gifts, but I have never felt the need to have diamonds and jewelry and lavish gifts given to me. This is because we feel each other's love, gratitude and appreciation on a daily basis. I would much rather have that than a fancy diamond necklace :)
Humour
If my and Mike's senses' of humour didn't match up, I don't think we would be together. Along with showing appreciation for each other on a daily basis, we also laugh each and every day (mostly at something I've said because I'm funnier than him). But it's not just verbal jokes that we make...there's lots of physical ones, too. And maybe I'm giving out waaay too much information by sharing this, but one of our favourite things to do is subtly moon the other person when they're not expecting it. Like if we're chatting while I'm at the sink and Mike is at the computer (and our backs are turned to each other), a few minutes into the conversation, Mike will turn around to see my ass hanging out of my pants and it's been like that for the last five minutes. I love making him laugh :) I'm guessing that style of humour isn't for everyone, but whatevs...we enjoy it :)
*****
In this day and age where divorce is all too common, I am so thankful for the healthy, happy relationship that Mike and I have created together. It's not perfect, it's not flawless, but it works for us.
Happy Anniversary, Babe!
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| One of my favourite pics of us, minus the toothpaste spatter on the bathroom mirror. |
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