Tuesday, June 12, 2012

This Is So NOT What I Had In Mind....

...when I said that I wanted a new vehicle...


Oh, dear God...it is not even close.  Alas, there is a 99% this maroon beauty will be ours before the weekend is through.  And there is 100% chance you will NEVER catch me riding in it.  If I ever do need to be in the vehicle, I can guarantee you that I will strap myself to the floor with bungee cords and duct tape instead of sitting upright in one of the 8000 chairs this van has.

You see, we have been looking at getting a lift installed in our van for Joel and his wheelchair for quite a while now.  For the last three years, anywhere that Joel needs to go, it is Mike that lifts him in and out of our van.  Every Thursday and every Sunday as Joel goes back and forth to his mom's house, it is Mike that drives him out and picks him up, lifting him in and out.  If Mike ever blew his back, we would be royally screwed.

We had been eyeing up some new-ish vehicles that already had lifts installed in them, but the timing just never seemed to work out, finance wise.  Mike came across an ad in our paper for an electric vehicle lift being sold for $250.  He drove out there last night (as soon as the LA Kings had a 3-0 lead, we stopped watching the hockey game) to check out the lift.  Lo and behold, the guy was also looking to get rid of the vehicle it was attached to (read: the hideous van pictured above).  All for the low, low price of a thousand bucks.  Mike just about shit his pants at what an awesome deal it was ("The tires alone are worth $700!" was one of the many great things Mike spewed about this van when he got home).

So, The Beast (as it shall henceforth be known) will become Joel's transport vehicle...and that's it (in my eyes).  Mike has grand pictures of us rolling down the highway, headed towards the Rockies, singing songs and camping out in this behemoth.  He even suggested we could sell our house and live in it (down by the river, of course ;) )  Mike pointed out that the bulk head is big enough that he could hook up a small TV for Joel.  I was quick to offer my counterpoint in that it could also serve as a place to store my dead body when I die of embarrassment.

The ONLY positive I see to owning this vehicle is that it will give me the chance to embarrass the shit out of Miss K when she's too cool to be seen being dropped off by her parents.  I hope to god this van beeps when it backs up, 'cuz I will reverse-drive the bitch out of it, all over her school's parking lot :)

3 comments:

  1. And so it goes, what goes around comes around. Jyl, we grew up in a van like that. Freud would have lots to say about this purchase!

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  2. Freud might have lots to say about the purchase, but I sure didn't have much input! Mike was sold on the vehicle the minute the guy said it was available. I actually haven't been that embarrassed about any of our vehicles...it has had more to do with the driver's behind the wheel (ie the time that Dad screeched through the parking lot of the Madison Inn, honking the horn all the way past the restaurant window...I did NOT go for coffee that evening!).

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  3. haha that is too funny!! have fun with that!

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