Sensitive Issues

I had a really great session this morning with my addictions counsellor.  For those of you that don't follow me on Instagram, yes, I'm in addictions counselling.  But that's a whole 'nother blog post in itself and not what I'm focusing on today.  Today, I want to talk about how sensitive I am both with regards to myself and also other people.

I'm a sensitive person.  I easily get hurt feelings.  I do a terrific job of fortune-telling and predicting and pretending I know what other people are thinking (especially with regards to me) and then I internalize it and BLAMMO my feelings are hurt.  Example: I sent Katelyn to school in a dress last week and without her ski pants.   I had sent her teacher a message asking if K could stay inside because of her dress (it was formal day at school).  I didn't hear back before I dropped K off, so when I got to the school, I asked the teacher if Katelyn could stay inside for recess and lunch.  The teacher said sure.  A little while later, I got a message back from the teacher saying she didn't realize I wanted K to stay in because of her dress and that half the school would be staying inside if that was the case and next time to make sure she's better prepared.  I almost cried.  I felt horrible. I felt judged. I wanted to drive K's ski pants over to her right then. But I didn't. I had to talk myself out of feeling horrible and tell myself that K's teacher wasn't judging me, she had a solid point and that I'll be better prepared next time.

I'm also a sensitive person when it comes to other people.  I'm constantly worried that I'm going to offend somebody unintentionally. I think that's part of the reason why I've been holding back on blogging lately and why I don't post very much on Facebook. I don't want to post wonderful things about Mike because a friend of mine just lost her husband to a heart attack. I worry about posting things about my kids because friends of mine are having trouble conceiving. I don't want to post the funny story about my dad because a friend of mine recently lost her dad. I even worry about posting anything with regards to my quad accident because a friend of mine's brother died in a quad accident and I don't want to stir up negative emotions for her.

In one message to my friend whose husband recently passed away, I made the comment that another friend of mine would just die if she knew how I made my spaghetti sauce.  "JUST DIE".  Talk about insensitive much?!? I immediately recanted and apologized for my slip of the tongue.  It didn't stop me from feeling like a gigantic bag of dog shit.

But, BUT, maybe now that I've posted this, friends and those who know me know I would never intentionally hurt your feelings. But just in case I do, consider this my formal apology.

And so it goes...