My Next Big Project

My addictions counsellor wants to better understand my OCD so she can better understand my addiction issues. She asked me to journal about what OCD is like for me. She read Howie Mandel's book and knows those aren't my issues (hands and germs). While I do have obsessions about outside germs versus inside germs, I can touch things out in public (even shake hands if need be) but my hands MUST be sanitized before I touch my face and washed as soon as I get home.

Anyways, when she asked me to write down my obsessions, the thought came to me of "Just keep writing and write your book. Finally".  And so I will. I've begun (began? Dammit if I'm going to be an author, I should know these things!) to write out my story. It will be a memoir of sorts. I'm wondering whether it will be difficult to NOT mirror The Bloggess and follow her writing style. Right now, I'm working on three different prologues - trying to decide which to use as an opener. Part of me wants to start off with shock value, to hook the reader in. Part of me wants to keep the opening tame so as not to put anyone off.

I've been re-reading my old journals and blog posts, using those as jumping off points. I can't believe I've been blogging for nine years! My main journal has remained untouched since starting this blog. I have a journal that I take on the psych ward with me when I go (speaking of which, I almost needed another trip there two weekends ago - tough days!!) and use it to recount my days. Parts of it are filled with repeated lines of "Stop it stop it stop it" or "I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself". Some real deep shit there, as you can see.

I've been messaging with a friend, who published a book last year, and getting writing tips and tricks from her. She mentioned a writer's retreat at a nearby camp in January and I'm excited/nervous to hopefully be a part of that. A couple days to myself to just write would be absolutely glorious! Some time to soul search and reflect and write - oh my!

So there you have it - I'm working on a book! Who knows where this will take me? Perhaps Oprah will choose it for her book club ;)

And so it goes...