Crazy Cat Lady

I've been itching to add another pet to the household lately. I found a beagle/corgi on Kijiji and have been following Mike around with puppy dog eyes in an attempt to coerce him into letting me get her. Mike said "All right - if you pick two cats to get rid of, you can get the pup". Enough said. There is no way I could get rid of any of the cats (we have three). I understand two things: 1) that five small animals would be WAY too many and 2) I am using the purchase of new pets to quiet my biological clock that has been ticking so loudly as of late, I've resorted to wearing ear plugs.

Last night, when my coughing was preventing me from laying down (lying down? which is correct?), I got up, shotgunned some cough syrup and sat in the living room. While I was watching the snow fall, I started thinking about which cats I could get rid of.* I realized a number of things. First, that I am going to become the crazy cat lady of the neighbourhood when I am 80 and Mike has passed away...the floor of my house will just be a sea of moving, furry bodies, but I'll be senile and quite happy so who cares? Secondly, for anyone who says that cats don't have personalities, please continue reading as I introduce my three feline loves:


Of the three cats, Ping (7) is the heaviest, weighing in at a hefty 18 pounds. She hates children and will let them know it with a swift left hook. Ping is normally a relaxed cat unless the food bowl dips down below half. If this happens, she will waddle around the house meowing loudly, letting everyone know that she is about to starve to death. She is the alpha animal in the house. The other animals know they cannot eat until Ping has been served (I'm serious!). Ping's likes include rolling on the cement in the summer, watching faucets drip water, sleeping near heat registers or in the sink, and play-fighting with Baby Kitty. Her dislikes include hair dryers, water bottles, loud noises and our dog, Shandi.







Sophie (5) is the lightest of the cats, weighing a measly six pounds. She is the most intelligent of the three. When she looks at you, you know there are wheels turning. Sophie is also the most high strung and the least adaptable to change. When we move or introduce a new pet into the house, Sophie begins to molt and she loses large patches of hair. Sophie's likes include being as high up as she can, being whistled to, sleeping in the linen closet, kneading soft things like blankets or my stomach and watching us sleep from her overlord position on our tall boy (which is sort of unsettling to wake up to). Sophie's dislikes include ice gel, aerosol containers and all the other animals in the house.



Last, but not least, is Baby Kitty (11 months). For being less than a year old, Baby Kitty takes the cake (and obviously all the cat food) weighing in at 12 pounds! After a few rough first days in the house, Baby Kitty was quickly taken under Ping's wing (or paw). The two were the best of friends until Shandi came to live with us in June of this year. Now, Baby Kitty and Shandi are inseparable. Baby Kitty's likes include playing with toilet paper, flipping her ears backwards while cleaning herself, and sleeping in bed with us (the only one of the three who will do so). I can't honestly think of anything she doesn't like...this cat is game for anything!




So there you have it. Three cats...three totally different personalities. How on earth am I supposed to choose two to get rid of? I guess our petting zoo count will have to stay at four... for now! And in case anyone noticed, yes, I colour coordinated my cats on purpose - one black, one white and one black-and-white.


*How do I correctly type that sentence so that I don't end it with a preposition???