It's not because I think it's a holiday for the card and chocolate companies. And it's not because I think it's ridiculous to pay four times more for a bouquet of flowers. It's because if Mike and I only showed our love for each other one day a year, we wouldn't be married.
I don't care about diamond necklaces or massive bouquets of roses or candelight dinners. What I care about is the fact that Mike and I show our love for each other every. single. day. Love isn't about an expensive ring or a fancy evening out. It's about prepping coffee for the other person when they have to get up early in the morning. Or getting a bubble bath ready for them. Or starting the car and brushing all the snow off. Or helping carry in the groceries. It's about massaging a forehead until they fall asleep. And sharing chores without complaining. And love notes left just because. It's about stolen kisses and unexpected hugs. It's about saying "thank you" for everything and saying "I love you" every chance we get.
A woman I know is having trouble in her marriage - fights, jealousy, insecurity, fear of cheating and so on. I don't know if it still happens, but I know there used to be name calling involved when they fought. Mike and I have always said if we ever resort to calling each other names, our relationship is over because it will mean we have lost respect for each other. When we argue, yes, it can get pretty heated sometimes, and while we might not like each other at the moment, we both know the argument will be resolved and that, at the end of the day, we still love each other.
Sure, we may buy a Valentine's card for each other and write a little love note inside, but it's not neccessary. I love that our love doesn't need a holiday to be celebrated. We celebrate it every day and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Update: I just wanted to add that we have celebrated V-Day before. And I have received bouquets of flowers, chocolates etc. I wasn't intending to say that if you and your spouse do these things that it means you only love each other one day a year. My point was that I would rather have little signs of love every day, rather than a single, grand gesture on Valentine's Day.
That is so true Jyl! I can share the same feeling about it. And I absolutely agree with Mike and the fact of calling each other names! It NEVER happened to us, as well and I think it must be really awful.
ReplyDeleteSt Valentine's is just a celebration, like Mommy's day.
Personally I would feel embarassed to go out for dinner and being among 200 other couples...! I'd feel so silly...
I think Valentine's day is more of a holiday to make single people feel bad about themselves. I used to call it 'black Wednesday' (or whatever day of the week it happened to fall) and sometime my single girlfriends and I would go out for supper to celebrate our singlness. Though at the time I am sure we would have LOVED to have a significant other to share it with. Now it just seems like another marketing gimmick to sell more flowers, chocolates, meals in restaurants, etc. Yes when I was dating my hubby we celebrated V-day because we were all mushy and whatnot, but for the last few years we have done very little to celebrate. I completely agree that if you don't let your significant other know that you love them on a daily basis in some way or another your relationship is doomed.
ReplyDeleteGood post, Jyl.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm glad that OUR love can be celebrated once a year -- on the day before Valentine's Day.
:)