Counselling Does A Body Good

Can you tell by my rapid-fire posts that I'm feeling much better than I was back in June/July/August? I'm still attending both of my "crazy" appointments (as I call them) every two weeks. My counsellor and pyschiatrist probably wouldn't agree with that term, but the name has stuck for me.

My pysch appointments are short and consist of my doc asking how I'm feeling, how I'm sleeping, what my energy levels are like etc. They only last about 20 minutes. My counselling appts. are much longer in length and more in depth. We talk about whatever I want to talk about. The one session consisted of 45 minutes worth of discussing my compulsive need to have the dishwasher properly loaded. I was happy to hear my counsellor has the same woes in her household!

I never did end up taking the anti-depressants my family doctor prescribed. Both he and my psychiatrist were a little leery, but my counsellor was more than willing to help me work things out without the aid of drugs. I have added an Omega 3-6-9 and a Vitamin B-Complex to my nightly line up of pills. I am just so happy that I've made it this far without the anti-depressants.

I've come a long way since June. No more invasive, negative thoughts. When I look back, I'm not sure whether it was full-blown depression, stress or pregnancy hormones that were causing me to think bad things, but I'm happy to say I haven't had a single "episode" in two months.

There has been one magic phrase that I have found myself repeating in many different situations and it has gone a long way to shift my thinking and stop the triggers that used to set me off before..."How much time and energy do I want to waste being angry/sad/frustrated over this?". I've learned to recognize which situations are within my control to actually change and which ones are not.

Case and point - the other morning, Mike let me sleep in while he got Joel ready. I was nicely snuggled in bed, but all I could hear was Joel constantly talking talking talking. Then Colby started nattering away about something and I hit my breaking point - wtf was the point of letting me sleep in if everyone was talking at normal volume (our walls are very thin)?? I stomped out into the kitchen and repeated this last question to Mike. I then believe I told Joel that as much as I would like to tell him to shut-up, I wouldn't, because that would be rude so I won't tell him to shut-up. I emphasized the words "shut-up" as much as I could. I then stomped back off to the bedroom. I huffed and puffed for a minute or two and then realized my actions just pissed everyone off and would start their days off poorly.

I thought about how I was already awake and nothing would change that. Plus, they weren't talking loudly to intentionally tick me off...they were just sharing morning stories with their dad. I slunk back out to the kitchen while Mike was in the bathroom. I stared down Joel for a moment or two (he's never sure if I'm kidding when I do this, but I always am) and then I started to tease him about kissing girls in his dreams. He was laughing and giggling by the time the bus showed up. Later, Mike thanked me for "sending away Crazy Morning Bitch" and for turning things around so quickly.

I really do owe it all to my counsellor. We've started to space my appointments by a month. With the last four weeks to go, I will see both of them on a weekly basis (since hormones start to go crazy during that time). And I will DEFINITELY keep seeing them after Baby is born...just in case I suffer from post-partum depression.

Can I say it one more time how thankful I am that I didn't take the drugs, but that I did start counselling? Everyone in the house has benefited from it :-)