This evening, we joined my brother and sister-in-law at my parent's house for supper. Katelyn and I went over early while Mike did some running around. My mom has started the process of clearing things out of the basement, purging, tidying and organizing. When I walked into the "playroom" (which is also my mom's sewing room and a storage room), I saw the toy corner was a bit of a mess. I asked Mom if I could organize it and I actually clapped my hands in excitement while I asked :-)
As I was sorting through the various toys, I came across my old Cabbage Patch doll and all her clothes. I sat and folded the doll clothes and, as I did so, I got a little teary eyed. It honestly feels like it was only yesterday that I played with that doll and pretended she was my baby. Even though my real baby sat next to me, as I looked at all the little jeans, shirts, hats and dresses, I was instantly transported back to being six years old and how real my Cabbage Patch doll was to me. How I would tuck her in her little crib at night and make sure she was warm (after giving her a bottle, of course); how I would choose appropriate outfits based on the weather outside; how I would cuddle her and sing lullabies.
And then more tears started to fall as I thought about how I get to do all of that with my baby who's not going to stay a baby forever. This lead to me thinking about how strange it must be for my mom to see her baby with a baby and that someday I'm going to watch Katelyn with a baby of her own, and holy hell, the tears just weren't stopping. The only way I could get the tears to subside was to switch tasks so I started sorting through the guns and construction stuff.
I thought that was it for my crying until I got home and read Katelyn a bedtime story. And what story was it that made me cry? Twas The Night Before Christmas, people!! Yes, I cried reading a Christmas story. Why? Because the copy I was reading was mine when I was little and I loved looking at the beautifully drawn pictures. And why am I reading Katelyn a Christmas story in May? Because she doesn't know any different and it's a nice big book :-)
Lord give me the strength when I finally get around to reading Katelyn "I'll Love You Forever". I'm just not ready for it yet.
I still can't read "I'll Love You Forever" and apparently I wasn't quite ready to read your blog entry today either. I can identify with the feelings you have for your Cabbage Patch Kid and all the mushy stuff that comes along with being a mom. I'm surprised we don't just sit around and bawl the whole time we get together!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that this time around, there's a pretty good chance of that happening lol.
ReplyDeleteI cry when I read I'll Love You Forever and I am not a parent. I have given it to a couple of my friends who are new moms, and tell them that it will probably make them cry, since it makes ME cry. Haha. Nothing wrong with being sappy :)
ReplyDeleteAngie...that's exactly why I can't bring myself to read it - because of how it made me cry before Katelyn was even concieved!
ReplyDeleteIve been reading Ill love you forever for just over 4 years, I started when Max was in my belly and I have NOT made it thru the last couple of pages without crying!!!! The boys always look at me like Im crazy and I tell them "you'll understand when you have kids of your own!!" My parents used that line so much when I was little it always annoyed me.........well let me tell you they were so freakin right!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mothers Day Jyl!!!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't get better than mommy ville!!!!!!!