Ten On Wednesday: The Getting To Know Me Edition

Okay, so this post was supposed to appear on Tuesday, but this is my blog, so I can change the rules whenever I want :-)

1) I have an uncanny ability to accurately describe smells.  Take yesterday in Walmart, for example.  After walking past a gawd awful stench in a couple of aisles, I could have just commented that someone stunk like ass.  Instead, I pointed out that it smelled like, "Mexican senior farts".

2) I like to be the odd one out in various target demographics.  I think I've mentioned before that I LOVE to play "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare" (I've wrapped it twice) and "Grand Theft Auto".  I'm pretty sure the creators of the games didn't have thirty year old housewives in their sights when they were in the designing stages.  And I'm pretty sure Taio Cruz didn't intend on that same housemom blasting his songs through the speakers of her mini-van, but that doesn't stop me from rocking out on the way to Superstore.

3) I am an absolute whiz at logic puzzles and cryptoquizzes.  That being said, my puzzle solving abilities evidently aren't sharp enough for Mensa's standards (who, by the way, can suck it).

4) I love to play minor pranks on telemarketers.  Sometimes I let Joel answer, but not before I tell him that Santa Claus wants to talk to him.  Sometimes I ask them to hold for a moment while I "get the lady of the house" and then I set the phone down next to the radio and walk away.

5) I only have two live plants in my house that, apparently, thrive on being neglected.

6) Out of all the furniture-that-requires-some-assembly in our house, the only thing I have not built is our barbecue.

7) My new best friend? Multi-purpose microfiber cloths.  They dust, clean mirrors, swiffer and wash your floor.  I just wish they could do it while my ass stayed planted on the couch.

8) I recently faced my twenty-three year old fear of Bloody Mary.  During a nightly trip to the bathroom, I found my eyes in the mirror and decided to bite the bullet and get it over with.  I said the dreaded name three times and, lo and behold, I was not sucked into the mirror after having my eyeballs ripped out.  Imagine that.

9) Someday, Mike and I will go on a guided tornado-chasing tour of the midwestern states.  We would have gone on one for our honeymoon, but we got married out of season.

10) I cannot properly pronounce the words "corduroy" or "unfathomable".  I don't think I even spelled unfathomable correctly.