Recoil And A Birthday Party

I seem to go through phases where all I want to do is shrivel up and hide.  Moments where I wish I didn't have a blog or Facebook or a phone.  I want to shut out the world and just be alone.  Well, alone with my family anyways.

But because I do have this blog and other various means of contact with the outside world, then I feel an obligation to stay in constant contact.  Lately I have become horrible for not responding to emails or phone calls.  I find that when I generally do have something to say back, it happens at in-opportune (is that a word?!?) times.  Like when I'm showering.  Or getting ready for bed.  What I mean is that I have several emails that I need to respond to and I find I write those responses mentally when I'm away from the computer.  But when I sit down at the desk, my attention gets sucked into Failblog or Cityville or some other meaningless task and I just don't feel like responding at that time.  And then I move on to the next task and I feel guilty because, once again, the emails have been neglected.

My attention this week was focused on Kat's birthday party yesterday.  I bounced back and forth between wanting everything to be perfect to not caring about some of the details because, let's face it, she's not going to remember any of it anyways.  So, really, the party was for me.  And I will happily celebrate her birthday for her because that day is just as much my celebration for all the work I did to bring her into this world :-)

The day went well.  There were balloons and streamers and photos of Kat all over the house.  We celebrated with just my family (having both sides in this house would be way too many people) and it was a great afternoon.  The highlight?  My baby girl walked!! WALKED (with the help of her little car).  Yes, she walks around in her playpen or crib, but yesterday?  She just scooted over to her car, stood up and walked away.  As if she had done it a thousand times before.  And then we all started clapping which, of course, scared the bajeezus out of her and she fell down and started crying.  I love this kid's range instantaneous range of emotions.

I now present to you Kat's one year video.  Have a I mentioned before that this baby is all the sunshine that I need?



Password is kat's full name