Beyond Lucky

There are times when I am out and about with Joel, I happen to catch a glimpse of another mother looking at him.  Sure, lots of people stare at him (and some actually leave their mouths wide open as if it's their first time seeing a kid in a wheelchair).  But the mothers?  They have a different look.  It's quite subtle, but I see it.  Maybe it's the way their hand protectively slips down to touch their child's shoulder, as if they want to make sure he/she is still there and still okay.  Or maybe it's the way they raise their eyebrows, every so slightly.  Like I said...it's subtle, but definitely there.

And I know what every single one of them is thinking..."Thank God that's not my child".  For people on the outside who look in on our family, it must look like it's a lot of work.  Most people wouldn't even know where to begin to deal with all of Joel's disabilities.  Some people might even look at Joel and think, "Where's the quality in that kind of life?  How can you possibly love a child like that?".   And you know what's funny?  I have found myself thinking very similar things.  Not with regards to Joel, though.

Every once in awhile, I get reminded of just how lucky we are that Joel is who he is.  Last week, I had to stop at Joel's school.  He was eating lunch in the cafeteria with his seven other classmates.  And, as I glanced around the table, I found myself thinking, "Thank God that's not my child.  I can't imagine how much work it must be to care for someone like that".  Joel on his worst day is still better behaved and easier to care for than some of those kids on their best days.  Joel is lucky enough to have the ability to communicate what he's thinking.  It might not be intelligible speech to everyone, but we know what he's saying and that's what matters.  I just can't imagine what our life would be like if Joel was not only trapped in his body, but in his mind as well.

My hat is off to those parents out there who love and care for children with disabilities that far surpass Joel's.

On a final note, something we've been dealing with as of late is Joel's development of scoliosis.  His spine has begun to twist and is causing him a fair amount of back pain (obviously).  He has been wearing a brace for the last year, but it has done nothing to help alleviate the problem.  Before the year is up, he will likely have surgery to have steel rods inserted in his back.  Joel is nothing short of a rockstar, and he will sail through the surgery just fine.  My vote is that it'll be Mike who needs the painkillers :)