Creepiest Kijiji Encounter EVER

On Friday, I came across an ad on Kijiji for Proactiv and I knew I needed to snap it up.  I've been wanting to try it on Joel for awhile, but I didn't want to commit to paying monthly installments if it wasn't going to work. Had I known I was about to meet the Klopeks in real life, I would have brought my video camera with me.

As if Joel doesn't have enough crap to deal with, the poor guy is saddled with horrible acne.  We do the best we can to make sure we're washing his face, but there are days when it gets left out of the routine.  We have tried Oxypads, special soaps, cleansers and acne cream (which I wrote "Ass" over top of the "Acne" on the tube just to mess with Joel), but there is no miracle cure. However, late night TV tells me that Proactiv is as close as you can get to a miracle, so I figured, "Why not?".

When I received a response to my inquiry as to whether or not the Proactiv was still available, I let the horrible spelling/grammar slide.  I am too often appalled at people's lack of pride when they correspond through email, but I try not to pre-judge people based on this.

When I received the address for where to pick up the item, again, I tried to not judge the person because of where they lived (it was on one of the crack-iest streets in PA and I'm not referring to potholes).

When I pulled up in front of the house, I tried to not let the overgrown weeds, Canadian flag for a living room curtain or the couch on the lawn affect my judgement.

And then I knocked on the door.  And, no word of a lie, the little door knocker thing fell off.  For any of you who have seen "The Burbs", you'll know that I half expected a swarm of bees to fly out at any moment.

The door opened only an inch and, given the bright shining sun outside and the lack of lighting inside, I could not see who/what was standing inside.  The door opened a little wider and there was an, "Ah?" that came from inside.  I put on an overly perky smile and asked, "Is Doyle here?  I'm here to pick up an item off Kijiji."

The door closed.

I stood on the steps, with Katelyn wriggling in my arms (I think she could sense the evil seeping out of the house), debating whether I had written down the wrong address.  I glanced back at Shandi, who was waiting in the van, and wondered if I should just leave.

The door opened again.

A solitary arm extended out into the day, holding a white and green box.

I had no idea whether Doyle was a man or a woman.  I set the box down on the step and started to dig through my purse.  The arm retracted into the house and the door closed, but not tightly.  I continued rooting through my purse, found my wallet and pulled out the money.  Somehow, Evil must have been watching (perhaps through the newly formed hole in the door) because the door slowly opened at the same time that I found the money.

The arm extended out once more.

I placed the bills in the hand and shouted, "Thank you" into the dark void.

And then I ran as fast as my fat legs would carry me (more of a quick waddle, really) before Evil had a chance to chase me down and demand my soul.

Like I said, creepiest Kijiji encounter.  Ever.