Question One: I need to know what type of deodorant you use. I normally use Secret, but lately my body has begun to eat my deodorant within moments of applying it. By the time I walk from my bathroom to the kitchen, it's time to re-apply it. I'm not a fan of overly scented deodorants either...Mike once bought me a vanilla scented one for Xmas and I just about threw up. I have started wearing Mike's Axe deodorant for two reasons...one, it seems to stay on longer and two, I can smell Mike all day long :) However, I don't want to wear men's deodorant for the rest of my life, so I need your input on what types you guys use :)
Question Two: For those of you female readers that are in relationships, do you keep track of your in-laws birthdays and buy the cards/make the phone calls on those days OR do you leave it entirely up to your husband for him to remember and acknowledge (if he so desires)? In mine and Mike's relationship, I focus on my family and acknowledge their birthdays, anniversaries etc. For Mike's siblings and mom, I leave it up to him to remember to phone them or buy gifts/cards. I will buy gifts for my siblings' children on their birthdays, but I don't buy for the nephews/nieces on Mike's side. If he wants to go out and pick up a gift, he's more than welcome to do so. Perhaps this isn't the best way to foster a positive relationship with the in-laws, but I just feel like that's Mike's job and not mine. So...to recap - is one person responsible for remembering everyone's birthdays, or do you each stick to your own family?
Enjoy the rest of your weekend...K and I are off to S'toon on Sunday to visit the Forestry Farm with my nephews!
I have used Dove unscented antiperspirant for a couple of years and I like it. I like it because it is unscented, and I assume it must work because my armpits don't stink (as far as I can tell....*sniffs armpit*....yes seems to work).
ReplyDeleteAs for the birthdays, I think it is a bit of a group effort. I think I have a better memory for anniversaries and birthdays, but typically let Jay look after calling his parents and sending cards for their respective bdays. He is an only child, so it keeps things pretty simple. I tend to look after the stuff for my parents, sister and nephews. But sometimes we will remind each other to pick up a card or something. But more than not, we each look after our own families.
I think the sweating is worse during pregnancy. Always used Secret & has been good.
ReplyDeleteI give my husband notice of at least 5 days that it his his mom or dad's birthday, etc and if he buys ok, & if not, his problem, not mine.
Nikki
I also use Dove. I had to switch from Secret a while back because I didn't feel like it was working. Dove is great.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's family don't buy gifts. Simple. His Mom sends a birthday card and an anniversary card. I take care of sending their birthday, anniversary, Mother and father's day cards. My hubby hasn't sent a card in years. He barely even remembers my birthday.
I use Dove unscented sensitive antiperspirant as well. I have tried every natural deodorant under the sun and they just don't work for me (even the ones with good reviews that people swear work for them.)
ReplyDeleteI do all of the gift-buying, otherwise none would happen, or else my husband would be rushing out at the last minute and it would just take more time than if I did it. Sometimes I will say "do you want me to buy your nephew this or this?" so he has a part in it. We have tried to cut down on gifts (and definitely no cards) for the adults. I will hand him the phone and tell him to make the b'day calls for his side. I think his family definitely appreciates the consistency of nothing being missed. My husband is from a family of all boys, and my MIL didn't get any good gifts until I came along, so I know she appreciates that too. She doesn't care that I picked it out and my husband handed it to her. I think as you said, it does help foster a positive relationship, and it is your family now too. I think also my MIL would be jealous to know my mom got an awesome gift for Christmas and she got nothing.
My husband does have input, but I am the one who remembers and gets on it. At Christmas, we will sit down with our list of family & friends, decide which ones need something bought, brainstorm our shopping list, then I usually go out and buy the stuff. He might help wrap, but I am definitely the one who takes everything to the post office. But hey, I work outside the home less than him, so I have more time, so it's only fair.
Anonymous...your comment just brought about a whole new thought for me! I realized that while I buy for my nephews' and niece's birthdays, I do this because they all live out of the country and we only see them once a year. It doesn't matter what time of year they come to visit, I give them a birthday gift. With Mike's nephews/niece, I don't buy for b'days, but I/we do buy them a Christmas gift (because we spend Xmas Eve with them).
ReplyDeleteAs for the MIL/my mom...for birthdays, we each acknowledge our own mom's day (which typically means my mom gets a gift and his mom doesn't), but for Xmas, I buy both the gifts. Price doesn't factor in, because they will never know what the other person got. The ONLY time there was a royal screw-up was at our rehearsal supper. My parents had invested a LOT of time AND money into our wedding, so we got them an uber impressive (read: expensive) bottle of wine as a thank you. Mike's mom and step dad only paid for our rehearsal supper (which was pizza and they got the wrong kind), so we got them an okay-ish bottle of wine. Neither were supposed to know what the other got. HOWEVER, I mixed up the thank you bags and gave the super expensive bottle to Mike's parents. They were very impressed, until I saw my mistake and walked over and swapped bags. There was no way I was going to let them enjoy that wine after they put no effort into helping us!!
Hmmm...and I wonder why there's so much turmoil between myself and the MIL?!? LOL
I'm glad you switched back the wines! Ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI try to be discreet about what we buy/do for each other's families, and the gifts/time will never be exactly equal, and different families have different expectations so I'm not going to worry about it. So I just default to discreet.
However, my MIL will find a way to figure it out. She will actually ask. And some holidays we do spend together. So if my MIL got nothing and my mom got something uber nice, she might find out. Not that that's the only reason why I get her something. But if we're going to show up to Christmas at the in-laws empty handed, it always looks badly on the wife, no matter if she's the in-law or not. That's our societal expectation. Plus, it wouldn't really be fair to come back with a haul and not bring anything.
Of course Christmas is different than b'days and that was not the intent of this conversation. I think every family has different expectations. B'days are not a big deal on my in-laws side, cards/no gifts are the norm, so neither of us is going to go out and buy an expensive gift. On my side, all holidays are a big deal, we go along with the trend.
1. Secret. It's the only one I seem to not be allergic to. It works wonders for me but i have heard great things about Dove as well
ReplyDelete2. I make all the birthday cards (or at least i used to, recently i have had to buy them) and send them out. I remind Greg when his parents + brother's birthdays are and I get him to call them. At Christmas, we both buy for my family and he mostly does his own.
1. I don't wear deodorant (gasp!). Unless I have a feeling it's a stinky day (once or twice a month, and I wear my husbands).
ReplyDelete2. When we got married, my opinion was the same as yours: we each handle our own families. The embarrassment/guilt of not acknowledging special events in my in-laws family finally got the best of me and now I do it all (but cards, not usually gifts).
Jyl,
ReplyDeleteI have been ‘secretly’ lurking about your blog for some time now (well not so secretly since you keep track!)...and have often found it immensely funny, engaging and quite often a validation of my own craziness!
I am also not prone to commenting randomly on ‘stranger’s’ blogs, however, I read your post and it totally hit home. So here I am, randomly commenting on your blog.
1. Deodorant – I make my own. No, I am not a Birkenstock wearing granola but I attended a baby and me class where a women guest spoke about baby massage and she said, “Don’t put anything on your baby’s skin that you wouldn’t eat.” For some odd reason I looked down at my 6 week old and it really hit home. Best part…I am totally a sweater (a person who sweats…not an actual knitted garment) and it works better than store bought any brand.
2. I should preface this with the fact that both my husband and I have a turbulent relationship with my in-laws/his parents. I used to send all of the birthday cards, gifts, kids drawings etc. I was totally anal about making everything equal between his family and mine. Then we had a particularly bad ‘event’ and I told him if he still wanted to have a relationship with his family it was then up to him to be in charge of his family. I do have to say, as another commenter pointed out, that he is awful at it and I find I still have the responsibility to remind, buy, remind again. All he ends up doing is dialling the phone or write in the card I bought and will eventually mail. With that said I have immense guilt about it too…I don’t think you can ever win!
Thanks for the great blogs…I look forward to continued lurking! :)