The Worst Pain?

As Mike and I were laying in bed the other night, I asked him if he thought he's already experienced the most physical pain he's ever going to feel or whether there are worse things to come.  We both agreed that, obviously, we hope we've already experienced the worst pain we'll ever feel, but there are no guarantees in life.

In Mike's life, he has experienced a broken ankle, a broken knee cap, appendicitis (and the appendectomy that followed) and two ball surgeries (one was a vasectomy and the other was sperm retrieval...for the love of god, make up your mind!).  Out of all those things, the worst pain he has ever felt are his toothaches.  Yes...toothaches.  And I can understand that.  Mike said that all those other pains were localized, whereas toothaches radiate almost throughout your entire body.  He also said that if he had to pick one of those pains to live with for the rest of his life, he would pick ANYTHING but the toothaches.

Throughout my life, I've always based my level of pain on whether I cried or not.  In descending order, here are my top four pains:

4) When I was ten, I flipped off my bike and smashed my face on the ground, resulting in losing my two front teeth.  I didn't cry (pretty sure I was in too much shock).  They put the teeth back in (given that they fell out roots and all), but ten months later my body rejected them and I had to get them pulled out.  I didn't cry.  Fast forward thirteen years later and I was part way through my dental implant process (it took close to two years to complete).  My oral surgeon was torquing on the titanium bolts in my gums (sans any type of freezing) when one of the bolts broke loose and twisted.  Imagine taking your solid front tooth and twisting it, roots and all...I'm pretty sure you'd shed a tear or two.  Two things happened almost simultaneously - I cried and they finally administered some freezing.  Up until that point, that was the worst pain I had felt.

3) Enter my experience with in-vitro fertilization.  During the egg retrieval surgery, I was wide awake but doped up on a little bit of fentanyl (or however it's spelled).  I can't even begin to explain the type of pain that is created when one has a twelve inch needle pierce through the side of their vaginal wall and up into their ovaries.  They kept doping me up in an attempt to get me to stop crying.  It didn't work.  I finally pleaded with them to leave the 14th egg in there or I was going to lose my mind.  The doctor finally relented and left the last egg alone.

2) The pain I felt after Miss K's birth had nothing to do with pushing her out of my lady garden and everything to do with the two-inch v-shaped tear in my vaginal vault that went un-noticed.  Everything about Miss K's birth was text book until a few hours later.  I had some stomach pain and didn't want to ring for the nurse (I didn't want to be a wussy because, after all, I had just had a baby - there's bound to be some pain associated with it, right?).  My instincts said to call the nurse and I'm lucky I did.  Mike shutters to think what might have happened if I had shrugged it off.  

The nurse came and pushed on my uterus only to have an abnormal amount of blood be expelled.  She called for other nurses to help with the clean up and, as they were assisting me to the bathroom, I passed out.  When I came to, I started going into shock from all the blood loss (I also lost control of my bowels...ALL of your modesty goes out the window when you have a baby!!).  My doctor returned to the hospital (I passed out again on the way back to the delivery room) and he and the OB-GYN dove down under to try and find the source of the bleed.  Again, I can't describe the type of pain that comes from having two sets of hands and various medical instruments probing around in my lady bits.  I was a complete wreck...I was sobbing on the table and asking them to stop.  Finally, someone gave me a nice BIG dose of morphine and I started to calm down.

1) Hands down, the worst pain I have ever felt is from the four migraines I have experienced.  Like Mike's toothaches, the pain radiates beyond a localized spot and takes over your whole body.  With each migraine, I have contemplated being taken to the hospital, but I fear that between the sunlight, the movement of the vehicle and the bumps in the road, I would surely die before I made it there.  All I am capable of doing is laying on the bathroom floor, moaning and waiting to throw up again.  As each migraine slooooooowly comes to its end, I find myself hoping beyond hope that it is the last one I will ever experience. Unfortunately, I don't think this will be the case.

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So, I'm curious to hear from you....what is the worst pain YOU have ever felt?