The Non-Countdown

My Belly and I are at 37 weeks...and NOT counting.  It's not that I'm not excited to meet Baby #2...it's just that I'm 99% sure this will be last pregnancy and I'm not ready for it to be over.  The last 37 weeks has had its ups and downs...both mentally and physically...but overall, I love being pregnant.  I love feeling Baby swoop and kick and hiccup and stretch.  At this stage, I love watching Baby's wee bum roll from one side of my stomach to the other.  I love how I know that the jets in the tub are going to cause Baby to flip out and squirm all over.  As painful and restless as my sleeps might be, I love falling asleep with Mike's hand on my belly.  I love how K knows there's a baby in my tummy and how, when Mike is holding his hand on my tummy, K puts her hands on my boobs to try and feel Baby kick.  I love how K mimics my doctor and likes to pull out her stethoscope and listen to my belly.

I also know that this stage, right now, will be the easiest to care for Baby.  Once she/he is out in the world, everything is going to change.  I am beyond dreading the days/nights when Mike works because, honestly...I may as well be taking care of triplets by myself.  I have these visions of horrible meal times where I'll have a screaming newborn wrapped against my chest, K freaking out and throwing food off her high chair and Joel being pissed that Daddy's not home to feed him supper.  I am at least thankful that K can feed herself, so that I'm not responsible for scooping food into two mouths at once.  And then after supper....crap, I don't even want to think about the diaper changes and baths.  How on earth am I going to manage putting 3 dependents to bed?

I know that I'm not the first person in the world to have three children to look after by myself, but I don't think people know/understand how much work it is to take care of Joel...he is, more or less, just like a newborn himself, except that he can communicate his wants/needs.  Other than that, we have to do everything for him.  It saddens me that at the age of 2.5 years, K has already mastered things that Joel will never be able to do...feeding, dressing, entertaining, walking etc.  On the flip side, what makes me happy is that K doesn't see any of that - she sees Joel; she sees a big brother; and she sees someone she likes to hang out with.  They have begun to develop a normal brother/sister relationship...K loves being in Joel's room, pulling all his movies off his shelf and Joel gets beyond annoyed that his little sister is in his room AGAIN.