Sh!t My Spouse Says: The Labor Room Edition

Wife has just finished pushing out a baby after only 1.5 hours of labour and ten minutes of active pushing.  Both Husband and Wife are relishing in their new baby's arrival.  Husband is repeatedly bending down to kiss Wife on the forehead.

Husband: {kiss} I can't believe you did that, Babe.  I am so proud of you! {kiss}

Wife: I can't believe I did that, either.  Wow...just....wow.

All of a sudden, Husband stands straight up and has a look of complete astonishment.  

Husband: Good god, woman! I just realized...you've taken longer to have a shit before!

Wife: Nice. Real nice.