His First And Last Day

I sit here. Crushed. What was to be a momentous first day of pre-school has turned into a soul-searching, tearful afternoon. Andrew is playing in the living room, non the wiser of the events that have transpired.  All he knows is that he had a great morning, running and playing with a couple of meltdowns in between.

Today was Andrew's first day of year three pre-school.  We had hummed and hawed about whether Andrew was ready and had said all along we would leave it up to the teachers to decide.  Now that that decision has been made, I sit here wondering what more could I have done to prepare him.  Andrew did not have a good morning at preschool (besides the playing part and snack time).  He didn't want to watch the puppet show.  He didn't want to sit for story.  He didn't want the toys to be put away (or help with clean up).  He didn't want to sit for circle time.  When I went to pick him up, all the other kids were sitting in a nice circle and Andrew was off playing on the slide.  Oy vey.  I knew right then things weren't good.  When the lovely teacher said she wanted to talk to me, my heart sunk.

She said all the right things…he's too young.  He just doesn't understand.  It's not a defiance or behavioural issue…he's just too young.  She also noted he was still in a diaper, not pull ups.  Normally he does where pull-ups in the day so that was my fault for leaving him in a diaper.  Whoops.  First day jitters.  All of this was said in the most caring, loving way possible, but it still hurts.  It hurts because I feel like I've failed in some way.  But I go back to the fact that we said we would leave it up to the teachers and the teachers have spoken…they've just reiterated what we already thought…that he's too young and not ready.

And so, I guess I get my baby for another year.  We will attend Mom's Morning Out and give him the socialization he needs there.  He'll be in the three year olds class there and it's just free range play time…something that's right up his alley.

Le sigh.  Heavy heart today that will hopefully soon be lifted by three year old giggles and snuggles.

All ready to go!

At the preschool…first and last day.