Changes Are Plentiful

This week has been, well, interesting, to say the least. As of today, I am eight weeks pregnant. The way that I am feeling, the next 32 can't fly by fast enough. I do believe I uttered the words, "I don't want to be pregnant anymore" to Mike yesterday (Gasp! How could she?). What I meant was I just want to get passed all this hormonal/nauseated shit and get right to the baby part (which, if my calculations are correct, should bring on even more crappy hormones).

I spent the better part of yesterday crying. I cried and I cried and I cried. And then I cried some more. When Mike asked me what was wrong, all I could squeak out was, "I don't know? I don't know!". And then I cried even harder because I really didn't know. And then the tears would stop and I would be okay for a half hour or so. At one point, I was standing in the kitchen, prepping Joel's supper when all of a sudden, I had to drop the knife and fork I was holding so I could make a mad dash and do a face plant into my pillows before my sobs got too loud. Oy vey.

And the nausea saga continues to rear its ugly head. Food that was totally fine last week has suddenly become dangerous territory this week (ie oatmeal and bananas). I've thrown up every morning for the past three days, but I managed to drag my sorry ass into work today. If I didn't, I was afraid that when I finally did show up for work, there would be a new teacher sitting in my chair.

One positive is that my hours at work have changed. I was supposed to take over the main classroom for the summer, but instead, I am going to do "the travelling show" and just work three days a week (Mondays and Fridays off). I am really, really, really hoping that this nausea ends when my second trimester starts. If not, at the very least, I'm hoping the extra days off work will allow me to rest a bit so I won't be sharing face time with the toilet as often.

In general, my physical changes have included: getting up at 2:00am and 6:00am to go to the bathroom; napping after work for half an hour; and extremely sore boobs...we're talking if so much as a feather falls on them, it feels like I've repeatedly ran topless into a brick wall for hours on end.

My food cravings have included: chocolate milk (can't get enough of it); meat/cheese and crackers; oranges; sunflower seeds; apple juice and carrot sticks with poppyseed dressing.

My food aversions include: pop; coffee; chocolate; poutine (WTF?) or anything with super high fat content (otherwise, I pay for it dearly with hours in the bathroom).

On a side note, I'm looking forward to this weekend. We're heading back up to the lake (just Mike and I). It truly is my favourite place in the world. I need a little time to clear my head and get re-focused on why I'm going through what I am (and to remind myself how badly I have wanted this!).