Let's Hope They're Not All Like That

I don't typically share my dreams unless they are totally messed up. I think the one I had this afternoon falls under the "messed up" umbrella and then some...

In my dream, I was shopping in Canadian Tire. I pushed past a Native woman and bumped her cart a little. She pushed her cart back against me and a little pushing-war ensued. That was the end of that. A few aisles later, I saw her again and she started to give me heck for touching her cart. I told her to settle down, that it was an accident and then I walked away.

I ended up in an empty room, off to the end of the main store, that was selling these plastic Care Bear slip covers that go over a child's TV when they are sleeping (in case they are scared of the TV which begs me to ask why you wouldn't just get rid of the TV...this isn't a real product btw, just a figment of my dream). Anyways, I was sorting through the pile when this Native woman's friend came into the room. She started to give me crap for touching her friend's cart as well. Before I had a chance to respond, she held her hand out like a pincer, informed me that she had just "wiped it" and she didn't mean on her nose. I'll let you think for a second about where she wiped........got it? Let's continue...

So with her hand freshly dipped in her own vaginal secretions, she grabbed me by the neck, squeezed and started to lift me off the ground. She started to swing me around in circles and the fast we rotated, the harder she squeezed. The odd thing was that I felt no pressure on my neck...it was all in my belly. It would squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and then release for a few seconds. Me thinks, nay, me knows I was having a few contractions as I lay sleeping. I'm really hoping I don't have to be swung around by my neck at the hands of an angry Native woman for the rest of my early labour.

And I am so very thankful you don't have a sense of smell in your dreams.