An Eye For An Eye

Or: A Nail For A Tongue

On Thursday night, I treated myself to a bowl of homemade chocolate pudding. As per usual, Shandi came and sat next to the table, while she stared at me woefully in hopes that I would share some of my treat. When I was finished, I let her lick out the bowl.

A few minutes later, enter Mike.

He walked over to the table, kissed me on the forehead and grabbed the bowl. I assumed he was taking it to the dishwasher, so I paid little attention. A few minutes later, I looked up from the gossip rag I was reading and noticed Mike was now eating pudding as well. I tried to hide all emotion from my voice as I asked, "Is that the bowl I was using?".

Mike stopped, mid-swallow and his eyes grew huge. It immediately dawned on him what had happened. His first question was whether Shandi had licked the spoon as well. Thankfully, no she had not. As gross as it was, we both quickly tried to make Mike feel less violated by pointing out that he wasn't going to die from it.

Fast forward to Friday night. Mike came home from work and climbed into bed for a nap. I was readying to treat myself to yet another bath. I had my plate of cookies, my water bottle, the iPod and my book laying on the floor next to the tub. I lowered myself into the bath and settled in for a relaxing soak. After ten or so minutes, I sat up to turn the jets on. It was then that I noticed little "floaties" in the tub.

Anyone who's ever taken a bath knows how tough it is to grab random floaters out of the water - just when you think you have it, it slips out of your hand and sinks below the surface. It took me several tries to grab one of the floaters...there were lots to choose from, but they kept swirling away. When I finally got a hold of one, I pulled it out of the water for closer inspection.

It. was. a. toe. nail. clip. ping.

Cue the 're! re! re!' sound from "Pyscho".

It couldn't have just been sock fuzz or maybe some errant toilet paper shards. Nooooo...it had to be related to one of my most horrid phobias.

I forgot that Mike had cut his nails the night before and I didn't think to rinse the tub before getting in. Never, ever, ever will I forget to do that again.