On Monday afternoon, I was having a nice little mid-day nap. Typically, when Mike comes in to wake me up, he's holding Katelyn and saying, "Mommy? It's time to wake-up!". It's a nice, relaxing way to wake up as Katelyn bounces on the bed next to me and grabs at my hair. Seriously - it really is nice. The wake-up from the above mentioned nap wasn't quite as nice. Mike came in, sans Katelyn, sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "I've got some bad news. M's baby died". I told him he better be joking.
Our co-worker, M, was due mid-November. We watched her FB status updates as she passed the 40 week mark and then passed the 41 week mark. A week ago today, she went in to be induced. As they did the standard pre-labor-ish checks, they discovered the baby had no heartbeat. My heart instantly broke in two for M. I simply cannot imagine. I just can't.
Throughout the week, I have found myself going back to Katelyn's first week and how I was constantly looking at the clock and thinking, "In two hours, she'll be 24 hours old!" "In 3 hours, she'll be two days old!" and so on. And poor M has likely been thinking the opposite "He would have been a week old today".
I just can't imagine - having the room painted and the furniture assembled; the clothes bought, washed, and folded neatly in the dresser; the first pack of diapers ready to be opened; the car seat secured into the van; the special "first outfit" all picked out. And to come home with nothing but a broken heart and empty arms? How do you come back from that? How do you possibly move on? How do you stop yourself from wanting to scream at every commercial on TV that shows happy little children waking up Christmas morning when you've just buried your little baby who didn't even get to take a breath on this earth?
And what does one possibly say at a time like this? I just don't know. There are no words. What I do know is that shit like this just shouldn't be allowed to happen. There should be a universal law that babies can't die.
Isn't it the most heartbreaking news to hear? I just cannot, absolutely cannot even remotely imagine what this must be like for somebody to go through.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this should never ever ever be allowed to happen.
so very very sad.
That is so sad. I can't even imagine. My husband had a step brother die at 2 months of SIDS.
ReplyDeleteIt shouldn't be allowed at all.
Her and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.
agreed jyl...i know M too! such a brutally sad situation! praying for them constantly!!!
ReplyDeletekathryn
this also just happened to one of Shane's co-workers. it is wrong on so many levels.
ReplyDeleteand you're right - there is nothing to say. just listen. over and over and over again to her story because it will be unlike anybody else's - no matter how many people you might know that go through the same thing.
i was just speaking with my cousin who lost her baby months after her birth and she said hearing that it happens to others won't help her feel better. so you just listen and listen and listen some more if she needs. be an advocate of her feelings.
you are intuitive and sensitive to others and as a result you will know *just* what to do, i just know it.
I cannot imagine either.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for them.