As I sit here this morning, preparing for another day in my shop, I can't help but shake my head at how far I've come...those of you that have been along for the ride with my blog, over the past thirteen years, have followed my ups and downs from the start. You've been with me as I experienced my lows and spent times on the ward. You've been with me for the highs as I landed whatever coveted job I was after and all the mundane, in between events.
As I sit here this morning, I have a tough time associating with those dark feelings...the ones that lead me to the hospital after yet another attempt or overdose. While I can recall them vividly and how I felt, it feels so absolutely foreign and almost yucky...I can't believe I was so far gone out of my mind to actually believe I was completely and utterly worthless.
As I sit here this morning, I want more...more happy times, more success, more goodness, more contentedness. I want to continue to spread the word about PPD, OCD, and maternal mental health in general. I can't believe my kids just about lost their mom and Mike his wife...if I could go back and kick my own ass for being so irrational, I would do it in a heart beat.
As I sit here this morning, I am oh-so-thankful I have Mike in my life...I mentioned this in an instagram post that he is my kite string holder...as I flip and flop back and forth, up and down, he stands there, patiently hanging onto my string, waiting for me to come back down. He's been my rock and my solitude...always understanding, always searching out answers along with me, always supporting, never condemning or patronizing.
As I sit here this morning, I am happy.
And so it goes...
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