Saturday, March 27, 2021

Why I TikTok

It's no secret to any of my social media platforms that I've recently become hooked on TikTok. I got into it last year for a bit but then let it fall to the wayside. I made a few about a month ago and got such a great response that I jumped in head first and kept firing them off. I am not an original content creator...I spend a lot of time scrolling through TikTok, looking for the perfect one to recreate (my Mom is so proud)...perhaps too much time. BUT my job allows the necessary downtime to look for said TikToks...well, that and greatly ignoring my children in the evenings to let me find some doozies.

The reason I make the TikToks is two-fold...one, I love making people laugh. I don't mind making an ass of myself to get a giggle. From a young age, I knew I would never be the beautiful, popular friend so I figured if I'm going to be the tagalong, I may as well be the funny one. It's worked well for me. As a teenager, I have memories of making my entire school band laugh. Or my whole ringette team. My best memories of university isn't the parties...it's the one on one time with my bestie when we would skip class to goof off and laugh. He and I made a car commercial for my '85 Toyota Corolla and I have yet to laugh that hard again in my life.

The other reason is for what the tiktoks do for me...in all likelihood, I'm probably laughing the hardest at them. They are an instant mood lifter and, after having lived in darkness for so long, it feels so. damn. good to be in a place of laughter and happiness. For ten long years, my mental health was...what's the best word? unstable. I was a mess on the best of days. Since coming off my meds, I feel like I'm coming into my own and finding what I need to do to stay happy. A fog has been lifted and I've found a community where my humour fits it.

When I first started my store, I had visions of creating a safe space for mamas to talk about their postpartum issues such as depression, anxiety and so on. In my early dark days, I did a few speaking engagements on my experience with depression and suicide attempts. Fast forward a few years and, while once again trying to bring light to these issues via my blog, we had our hands majorly slapped by the police and social services. With that experience, I built up a protective wall and said "Never again". I quit blogging and held my cards close for quite some time. That was only one of a couple of rock bottom times for my husband and I. I never want to be that low again.

So...back to mama meet ups...Covid hit and ix-nayed that. Then I moved into a smaller space which couldn't accommodate a group of moms. As much as I want to bring light and awareness to PPD and give moms a platform to discuss these things, I keep in my mind something crucial - I'm not a psychologist or a counsellor or therapist. I have no credentials to help fix mamas. All I can do is share my experiences and empathize with those who are in the thick of it. So? I've made a bit of a switch...if I can't fix anyone, maybe I can make things a little bit easier and lift the mood. If I can bring a smile to a mamas face and, for 15-20 seconds at a time, make her forget her troubles and anxiety, then I am happy to do just that. I will likely never go viral and I'm okay with that...I'm not in it for the fame. I'm in it for the laughs and man-oh-man, does it ever feel good for this mama's soul!

And so it goes...

Jyl

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