Overdue For A Post!

It's amazing to me how quickly a month can fly by! Wowzers! Anyways, this post will be a mish mash of this and that.  It does contain some period talk so if that grosses you and you're a woman, well, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously…we all go through it.  We should be able to talk about the squeamish stuff, should we not?

So, I'll start off by talking about two Fridays ago.  I had a no good, rotten, bum luck of a day and ended up in hospital via ambulance.  Miss K was right there and we just said Mommy's head was hurting so they had to take me by ambulance.  The attendants were super good with Katelyn and even gave her a teddy bear to take care of until I got home.  I threw up all the charcoal they made me drink (which is par for the course - that shit is disgusting).  I was poked and prodded and made to give pee samples.  No rest for the wicked, apparently.  Anyways, I felt the normal amount of guilt and shame for what I had done. I slept for most of Saturday and by Sunday, was back to my normalish self again.  Since then, I have twice attended a group for anxiety/depression and have seen two counsellors.  I start seeing my regular counsellor on November 27th so that will be good.  One foot in front of the other…

My meds got a little screwed up because I'm on a weekly dispensing schedule (as part of my suicide safety plan) and when you ingest all your meds the day after you get them, the pharmacy's computers have a hard time working around this.  So, I went almost a week without one of my main meds which was rough.  Then, I ran out of my sleeping pills and Mike couldn't get down to Walmart to pick them up (I'm not allowed to pick up my own meds - again, as part of my safety plan).  So, I was a few nights without those and THAT was rough trying to fall asleep after having relied on sleeping pills for so long.  But, slumber managed to find me (and so did a few afternoon naps) so alls well that ends well.

Onto to the really good stuff…because of one of my new meds, I skipped my period for a few months.  Apparently it happens to 1 in 100,000 and I was that super lucky one.  I knew my luck was going to run out sooner or later and I was actually praying to get my period soon because I didn't want to have it while we're in Vegas at the end of November.  Well, my prayers were answered on Sunday.  That light pink stain on the toilet paper gave peace of mind that I wouldn't have my period in Vegas (I'm on a six week schedule).  BUT that little pink stain was a false pretense to the ungodly torrent of, um, fluid that was about to be released.  I am bleeding like I've never bled before.  It's like I've been shot in the vageener with a shot gun.  Seriously.  How am I not dead after losing, like, 17 litres of blood?  To make things even more fun, when I went to group yesterday and stood up at the end, there was blood ALL OVER my chair.  The guy on my left and the girl to my right both saw.  What the hell do you say to that?  "Oops" was the most I could muster before scrambling for paper towel and water to clean it up.  I have never been more mortified in my life.  Talk about adding anxiety to an already anxious person!!

Miss K is super anxious about attending school.  She has cried the last two mornings about going and has already said she doesn't want to go tomorrow.  I push her to go and of course she has a fun day.  She must take after her mama…just like I am with subbing.  I get all worked up about it but once I'm there, it's not that bad and I make it through.  I just hate seeing her so upset and wish I could keep her home.  But that's not teaching her anything good.  We'll see…maybe in the morning, she'll be feeling better and have forgotten about not wanting to go.

That's it for now…I hope to post again next week about the kids' Halloween fun! But don't hold me to it…time goes faster than we think it does!

And so it goes...